Day 100: The Final Rant

I tried to keep it light throughout my #100Unhappydays but for #day100 I’ve decided to rant. So strap yourselves in and pray you’re not mentioned.

Grey chest hairs. Cold Callers. Hot Callers. In fact any callers, I’m x-directory for a reason mutha fucka. Jocks moaning that we’re allowing them a vote – we colonised you so be a bit grateful you dour old gits. People that can’t queue, if you can’t do it properly then go somewhere less popular. Fuck you Alzheimer’s, I hate you the most, but for reasons I can’t remember. High iron levels – a bloody pain. Tottenham – be it Hotspur, High Road or History. Writers block, cheese and One Direction. 270 miles door to door – way too far. Being asked what #day it is for 100 days. Weekend drivers, someone please give me a gun. Squirrels, grey not red. The Daily Fail. China – cups not country. Never ending stories and The NeverEnding Story. Slow walking, three abreast ‘I don’t care if you have somewhere to go’ Slummy Mummys. Michael McIntyre’s hair. Making lists.

Day 99: I refuse to stop refuse

Believe me, when you live at the end of a very long, narrow, cul-de-sac, the last thing you want to see when turning the corner is this. And yet I seem to manage it every week

Day 98: First World Famine

A very 'first world' problem today, but me and Kaede are most upset that our local has run out of cheese and onion crisps

Day 97: Destiny in my hands

Damn you, why did you have to launch on a really busy work day. Have to burn the midnight oil I guess

Day 96: Old Skool Sat Nav

What a difference a week makes - this time last week I was all chilled out in the Netherlands. Incidentally, this is the map I used to get me there. Old Skool mappage

Day 95: Oh Jesus

If this is true then I don't think any of us are going to heaven

Day 94: Sod's Law

Why is it that the only time a dragonfly decides to hang around and pose for a pic, I can never lay my heads on the proper camera