Day 50: Bring me his head

As I get older I'm finding myself being this parent for the tiniest of slights on my kids. #calmdowndear

Day 49: Say it ain't so

Oh fuck me, they've escaped for the summer. Somebody help me push them back in

Day 48: It ain't half hot mum

Off to see Kaede in a play tonight. Hope the air-con is working because it's hotter than the Devil's nut sack out here

Day 47: So it's come to this

Set up the video camera to catch the birds on my new feeder and this was the result. I'm officially a sad old bastard.

Day 46: Day of the Triffids

Lucy: Do you want a pumpkin plant? Me: Will it take over my Herb patch? Lucy: No. Me: OK then. #TriffidTakeover

Day 45: Are you SURE

Jeez, it's so hot even my teeth are fucking sweating

Day 44: Department of Far Flung Nooky

So I was watching a Swedish crime programme and saw this. I know avdelning means department, so therefore they have a department for sexpeditions. Our hospitals are so boring.